I just cut my nipple shaving
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
