Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
