I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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