Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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