Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
