I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
