this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
