were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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