I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
