I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
