whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
