So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
