haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
