please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
