We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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