Don't you send me to vm
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
