just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
