Umm I'm too high to move.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize