ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
