Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
