Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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