last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
