Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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