ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
