When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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