Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize