Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
