No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
