if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
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