whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
