So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
