He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Hippo gnu deer
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
