Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
