it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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