Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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