420 ftw
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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