what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize