Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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