I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
cat food counts as protein by the way
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
