You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
