if you like me you must not know who I am
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
