she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
