is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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