Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
