I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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