I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
