Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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