there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
