Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
