i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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