she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
