wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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