If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
why do cheetos always look like penises
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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