sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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