nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize