Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize