i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
did i just pee glitter
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
