i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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