Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
