You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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