just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize