we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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