sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
