Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
