You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
