my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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