I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
