all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
