This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I think a kid would responsible me up
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
