Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize