I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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