and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
