That's intense
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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