I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
