I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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