I wannas sexs uuuuu
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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