Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
